Natalie: 0:49

On today's episode, I chat with Julianne of Sweet Babe Clothing and Revel handcrafted about both her birth stories, her experience with motherhood so far, and what it's like running two small businesses while being a stay-at-home mom. I'm Natalie and you're listening to the Resource Doula Podcast, a place where we provide information to help you make informed healthcare decisions for yourself and your family. Julianne is a Pacific Northwest native who headed for warmer weather after high school and earned a product development degree at the Fashion Institute in Los Angeles. After graduation, she returned home to Washington State where she met her husband. Julian is now a stay-at-home mama to two girls and entrepreneur of two small businesses. She designs. Baby and kids clothing as well as party and holiday decor. She loves baking and can find an excuse to bring a homemade cake almost anywhere. Julianne and I go way back because, well, we're cousins. I'm sure you're going to love this episode. So let's get started. Hey Julianne, welcome to the show. Absolutely. I'm really excited for our chat today. Um, I was hoping that you could just start out by talking a little bit about yourself, introducing yourself to the audience. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. You are, you are. Oh, that's awesome. I, yeah, you've never told me that. Thank you for sharing now. Okay, so you talked about becoming a mom and kind of wrestling with that identity a little bit and figuring that all out. Can you start with your first birth experience, kind of what led up to that, who you are, who you were as a person, how that experience kind of shaped the beginning of motherhood for you? it worked for you. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's a lot of decisions to make in that state of like, oh my gosh, okay. It's finally here. We finally achieved the thing that we've been trying for for a long time. So yeah, lots and lots of decisions and everybody has their own opinions too, on what you should be doing or should not be doing. Right. Did you have a lot of that with your first pregnancy? Do you feel like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And that's a lot of l mental load in and of itself, but then processing it after. Do you, I know I'm jumping ahead to your second daughter, but do you, what differences do you notice with the, like the lockdown baby, becoming a parent versus a normal, normal quote unquote, normal, you know, social world with a second baby Yeah. Hmm hmm. Yeah. It's a lot of, a lot of new experiences for sure, man. do you wanna go more into detail about each of their birth stories and kind of how that transpired? Okay. Hmm. Aw. Yeah. Hmm. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Wow. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh man. Talk about pressure I need my own. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Oh, right, right. She probably would. Yeah. shouting across the room. Oh my gosh. Wow. Oh my gosh. I don't think you told me that detail before. So, wow. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like you've had, you had like a lot of challenges leading up to that point, not just two in general, but Yeah. Holy cow. Every time you tell me this story, like we've talked about it, the seven hours of pushing is what stands out to me most. Um, like it, on one hand I'm like, it's great that the doctors and the nurses were like, you can do this. Like, let's let her do, as, you know, give her the effort and give her the time to attempt. Um, but also seven hours of pushing is so much work and so exhausting. And like you said, you went through pretty much everything. That in until you push a baby out for vaginal birth. Right. And, and I just think about your pelvic floor, like seven hours of pushing against your pelvic floor and the nerve damage that could occur, and just the effort in general. Like it's, it's wild to me that they did that and they encouraged that. I don't like to say they let you do it because you get whatever the heck you want and like you're in charge of your birth. Right. But yeah, just like a little bit mind blowing, that's not as common in both most birth stories that I've heard. Right. Hmm. Well that's, that's, it's quite the story from the beginning to the end, like from the beginning of the dog and processing all of those emotions of her passing away. Right. And then going this whole new experience of giving birth to a baby and then, and then also having the nicu. Um, and you were breastfeeding. Right. Okay. How was that experience in the NICU with establishing breastfeeding? Aw. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Did you do any, um, therapy with the tongue tie, like the stretches and the exercises for her mouth after, or, okay. Okay. I'm glad that was successful and good and yeah. Yeah. I'm just curious now that you know, there's a lot of talk about tongue ties in general, but, um, okay. So tell me about kind of how you processed that whole birth story and what went on in your mind, like in the following months, like the first few months postpartum. Good. Good. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And in those immediate postpartum UR hormones and your sleep deprivation, like all of that leads to a lot of overwhelm with processing the birth story, right? Especially if it didn't go how you wanted it to or imagined it to go. So, okay, now fast forward to getting pregnant a second time, and talk a little bit about that and then kind of, you can go right into the birth story if you want to. Okay. That's alright. Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny how things happened like that, right? Surprise. Okay. yeah. Hmm. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Nice. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. That's really funny. I'm just like reflecting on my own life and my own mom who is sisters with your mom, I was born. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And I was born January 25th and my mom has always taken the tree down on December 26th, so I wonder if it was a similar reason. I never like connected that in my brain. That's funny. Yeah. probably. Mm-hmm. okay. Mm-hmm. right? Yeah, exactly. Babies know, they know when it's a calm and, and peaceful environment. Um, okay. I wanna hear kind of more about your decision to do a V back. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's amazing. makes me happy. Did you do any research or like childbirth classes around vbac or did you just like decide, I'm gonna do this and just did it? Hmm. What in the world? Wow. And then it's also, it's interesting to me just because like to play the devil's advocate, they don't give you that when you're about to have a cesarean. Like here are the risks for the cesarean. They say, you know, this is, this is what we're doing right. Here are the benefits. You get a baby. Right? Um, but yeah, just so that wow. Interesting approach that I probably wouldn't condone myself. Well, that's Yeah. Yeah. Well, cool. That's awesome. I, I mean, I think I think it's great if we start the conversation really early and let people know that they have a choice. Cuz there was a whole thing for a long time, like once a cesarean, always a cesarean, like that's a, a thing people say and so, yeah. Hmm. You're like, slow down I need to think about that. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, you totally could have done it with a 10 pound baby promise you you totally could So, talk a little bit about your second birth and how that transpired, like and your feelings around him. I'm curious. Mm-hmm. not messing with that. Right. Hmm. right, right. Yeah. I can walk in. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's such a redemptive story from the last, yeah, man. Hmm. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Something to think about and process. And I think that's really like mindful and. like self-aware of you to even recognize that because I, I don't hear that from a lot of people who have had opposing birth stories or like polar opposite birth stories. So just being aware of it is probably the best thing that you can do. okay, so now that you have two babies, um, what, after that second birth experience, what w what were those first few months postpartum like? And you can compare it, compare it to the last or Yeah. I'm just curious on that. I love it. He was cooking. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Hm. Yes. Yes, absolutely. Hmm mm-hmm. Hmm. That's a really, no, I love that. Yeah. You were empowered. You're empowered. Mm-hmm. Hmm hmm. Okay. So when, like, when you were expecting your second, did you do any preparation with your first, like, did you do any, um, books or education or trying to encourage her to think about having a, a new sibling? Oh yeah. Great. I love that. She's, she's an, an amazing little kid, Um, I always enjoy it when we're on FaceTime and she has something to tell me, Oh, she did? Aww. Oh, potatoes. I love potatoes. Amazing. Um, okay, so, um, I kind of wanna know if you were to, this is like a, a re self-reflective question. If you were to go back and talk to, talk to yourself when you were pregnant the first time, knowing what you now, now know, what would you, what advice would you give yourself? What would you say? Hmm. That makes me very happy to hear you say that, and because, well, one, it shows that you really listen to your instincts and, and rely on those, but also because that's basically the theme of this entire podcast. I know you've listened to other episodes, like everybody says that, and yeah. So it makes me happy every time a, a new guest kind of echoes that message. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we only can do. With what we know at the time. Right. We do as well as we can. Um, I really think I, you can tell me what you think about this. Social media makes it challenging for us to change our minds in that if we post something like, oh, I did this today with this child in this way, or I'm eating this particular food, then it's out there for everyone to see. It's public, right? And then we decide, oh, actually I don't eat that anymore. Or, I'm changing how I think about this concept. And so it's almost a barrier to change our minds because we've already stated that. Does that make any sense? Yeah. Because we're afraid of what people will. of us changing our mind, like, oh, you like, who's gonna do this? But our internal critic is like, oh, your friend on Instagram is going to come at you and say, who are you to say that you believe this now? Because you've said something quite different before. Um, but yeah, yeah. Thank you for saying it's okay to be wrong and it's okay to, or have a different opinion about something because you read a new piece of evidence. Right. The world is ever changing. science is over changing. So, um, okay. So as, as we're talking about that um, you've kind of been, um, on this journey of nutrition and the pro metabolic life. We've been talking a lot about that, you and I, um, minimal shoes, all of that. What has been your favorite swap kind of towards a more natural lifestyle that you've kind of done in the last few years? Oh, good. Oh, lovely. Me too. Oh, nice. Oh my gosh, that's so sweet. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, it's a really good life skill to have, but it also, it's like the slow living, right? You have to slow down to do sourdough. It's not instant And it has taught me a lot about like, good things take time and you can't rush the process. I tried to rush last night. I made sourdough non, and I did it spur of the moment and they didn't taste as good as they do when I give it, you know, a, a day to process. So, um, yeah. Um, yay. I'm glad you're sharing the sourdough starter too. Okay. Oh, nice. Okay. I'm excited for that. so you mentioned your second baby was 20th percentile and your first was 90th. Um, how has that played out in the first year? Wait, how old is she? I second guess my timelines for a second. How has that played out in her first year of life? Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. What? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Mm-hmm. Weird Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hmm. Yeah. So did you actually listen to what he said and stop nursing and give her formula? Okay. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's inconsistent. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Great. Look at you. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. Wow. Wow. That's okay. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good reminder. In all things health Oh, I love how your theme through all of that, like the common thread was you acknowledging that something felt off and you listened to that and you pursued more. Opinions of healthcare professionals and then you, you challenge them. That makes me so proud of you, Yeah. I love that you've brought like physical charts and presented that to, to your provider too, because I think, like you said, that's really challenging as a parent and even if it's your second kid, third kid, whatever, like it's challenging to speak up for yourself and listen to your body and then also speak up for another little human, right? So yeah, that's, I think that will be very encouraging to a lot of, a lot of people listening. So, um, okay, so I wanna know your favorite resources. If you were talking to friends, if you're encouraging new moms, someone who's pregnant, what do you recommend they read, watch, follow, all of that. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. right? Yes. Yeah, agreed. Yeah, I like your opposite answer. That's okay. That's okay. And I think social media too, like those quick reels are attention grabbing. And so a lot of times people do things for shock value rather than for educational content, which is just, it's problematic in a lot of ways. But, um, okay. So we haven't talked about your businesses yet, What's it like being a mom and a business owner of two, two small businesses? That's not boring. Gardens are exciting That's okay. Hmm. Yes. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. And you don't have to wake up earlier to shower ahead of time. Yeah, totally. I love it. Yeah. I think how Katie Bowman puts it, like stacking your life, putting your habits together, that, that work together really well, that are more efficient. It sounds better than multitasking, and it's more, it's more productive than multitasking, like doing a bunch of things at one time. But yeah, no wise, wise words. Um, okay, so where can people find your businesses? What do you offer? Talk all about that. Mm-hmm. I agree. And speaking as a recipient of some of your cake creations, you do a very good job at all of that. So, yeah. Have you made a sourdough cake yet? Oh yeah. You can make everything with sourdough. Yes. You have to tell me what you try Um, Okay, let's wrap up with the two questions that I like to ask everybody. So, first one, what is your number one piece of advice for our listeners? What do you want everyone to know? Yes, you can. I should probably change this question cuz most people can't just narrow it down to one Okay. Okay. Smart Hmm. Amen to all of that. Um, okay. Second question. What is your favorite daily wellness habit that you are incorporated in into your life right now? Doesn't have to be a long-term thing. Oh. Oh, nice. Oh, lovely. sunlight. I realized, oh. No, you can, it's dark there. I have realized that since putting up a, a light for filming and doing podcasts, if I do morning podcasts, I feel so much better throughout the day. So it's kind of like a, I mean, it's a makeshift happy light. It's essentially that. Right. It's a, it's a big filming light, so that's, yeah. It's been a discovery of mine. I've lived here my entire life and never owned a happy light Julianne, thank you so much for being here and deciding to share your story and encourage and empower other parents. I'm, I'm really excited for this one to air. Hmm, My top takeaways from my conversation with Julianne is that motherhood is a whole journey in and of itself, and leaning into your mom gut and intuition is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family. I also love how she brought up Dad's mental health as well during that early postpartum time, as that's not something we hear often or talk about as much. If you would like to order either kids' clothes or party decorations, you can use my code, Natalie 10 for a discount on your order. This code will work on both the Sweet Babe clothing as well as the revelry handcrafted Etsy stores. I'll be sure to put the code in the show notes as well as. Site and all of her social pages for you to follow.

Carolyn: 1:19:43

Welcome to the push corner with Carolyn and Lauren of mental push plan,

Lauren: 1:19:47

bringing you mental tools to empower you through pregnancy birth and.

Mental Push Plan: 1:19:51

What does it mean to respond versus react? They may be synonyms, but they play out in very different ways. So true. When we react to something, we are making decisions in the moment. This can mean that when we are stressed, fearful, or in pain, those emotions take over our decision making process. We don't necessarily stop to think, we just automatically react. Whereas responding allows for more mindful decision making. One is able to do this when they have prepared themselves for potential scenarios and plan for how they wanna approach these moments. This could be things like what thoughts they wanna be having, where their emotional level is, what questions they may want to ask or support they seek out when it comes to birth. This means taking the time before you give birth to think through possible scenarios, for example, you're planning a home birth, but what if you need to be transferred to the hospital in that moment? How would you like to respond to stay in control of your thoughts and emotions? Or if you wanna have an unmedicated vaginal birth, but your OB is suggesting a C-section, what questions or considerations do you wanna have ready to make a decision in the moment? It may seem like we're recommending you to go through all of the negative outcomes. Not at all. There's no right way to give birth and you can't know how your birth is going to unfold until it happens. Preparing ourselves ahead of time to respond rather than react will help you maintain power. Power in yourself, in your decision making, in your body autonomy, absolutely. Taking the time to think through different scenarios can remove that sense of fear around things that you don't necessarily want to be part of your birth. Thinking through these things can also be a way to safeguard yourself against shame. Guilt, anger, or disappointment. If things don't go the way you hope they will because you already have a plan in place on how best to meet that challenge. If it arises, your birth will un unfold on its appointed path. Preparing yourself to respond to its unfolding will allow you to stay focused, present, and empowered through it all.

Carolyn: 1:22:04

As always, you already have all the mental strength you need. These

Lauren: 1:22:08

are just the tools to help you tap into it. Check out mental push plan.com or find us on Instagram to learn more.

Natalie: 1:22:16

Please remember that what you hear on this podcast is not medical advice, but remember to always do your own research and talk to your healthcare team before making important decisions about your wellness. If you found this podcast helpful, please consider writing a five star review in your favorite podcast app. Thanks so much for listening. I'll catch you next time.